The story of waiting to come home. One out of many, the long journey from Israel and back to Israel. This is my chronicle of my big move to Israel...which will happen soon ... till then and after your with me through every longing moment!!!
I just want to take a minute and say thank you to the brave soldiers in all units of the IDF who willining gives their bodies and souls for our safety our country and future ... theres nothing more beautiful then your emuna !
( and as a stereotypical side note.... Israeli soldiers are cute!! )
I really felt the need to express my love and admiration for the IDF today because
1. we should always do it... its not done enough in fact since the army is taken so much as a usual thing and not as a special thing people take it for granted and always try to find the faults instead of trying to be nice and appreciative. Coming from the US where the army in voluntary and half of the country is divided and brainwashed and dosnt know what real Kavod la aretz is. i really value how important it is to having standing army will to take care of us everyday.
2. Ive been really .... bugged, confused... ticked of by this whole 2 Givati soldiers trial thats been going on. ... Now their going to prison after they gave their bodies to the country..., Im not a judge and i dont know the full details of the case but i know that these soldiers who really didnt commit much wrong (im not saying they weren't wrong their actions werent the best) but they are soldiers being all the time ba shetach and understand better than anyone what is needed and what is not needed to do. ..... we should honor them and not ruin their lives just because we want to paint a pretty liberal picture of ourselves in the media.
I think of myself as a pretty calm and rational person when it comes to global events or whatever that happens but when its comes to the violation and right of women acorss the world this really ticks me of .
i read this article today in Yediot Ahronot
Palestinian mental patients get hysterectomies
Muslim law permits parents to remove uteruses of mentally ill girls to protect family from shame
Ali Waked
Published: 09.30.10, 23:47 / Israel News
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A debate held by a Palestinian radio station has revisited the issue of female mutilation, with interviewed parents saying they prefer to perform hysterectomies on mentally ill girls in order to prevent them from becoming impregnated.
But the procedure is known to be performed in order to allay fears of embarrassment by a similarly ill offspring, and has been sanctioned to this end by both Sharia and the Palestinian Authority.
"We can't follow the girls around 24 hours a day, and we worry that they will be sexually assaulted, so we prefer to cut out their wombs," one parent told a radio station belonging to the Ma'an news agency.
The station held a debate on the matter over the past few days, uncovering a phenomenon not uncommon in the West Bank.
Parents who were interviewed anonymously cited protecting their daughters from rape as the reason behind the procedure, and the mufti of Nablus issued a decree approving hysterectomies "if they can put an end to a mental condition or social problem".
A gynecologist interviewed by the radio stressed that the procedure prevents pregnancy but not sexual desire.
The debate also concluded that Palestinian law does not prevent hysterectomies from being carried out on mentally ill girls, despite prohibiting the severing of body parts from any person's body without that person's consent.
Female Palestinian MP Dr. Sahar Al Qawasmi agreed that there is a legal problem, and said a hysterectomy does nothing to defend the girl but rather serves only to protect her family from the shame and embarrassment incurred in Muslim society by a mentally ill family member.
"If our will is to protect the disabled or mentally ill, we must worsen the punishment against those who would attack her," Dr. Qawasmi said.
"If we must cut out the girl's womb, why do we not chop off body parts from disabled boys? The hysterectomy makes her the victim of a rape as well as of punishment, and the lack of punishment for her assailant.
honestly at first i was shocked and at lost for words even though i dont know why. Ive studied the abuse and mutilation of women all across the world and have silently sat through the movie " G-ds SandBox " which talks about a young israeli girls fling with a Bedouin and her forced circumcision... those scenes were ... hard to witness.
But honestly i can still say that it all hit me as if the first time im learning about it . The fact that they said they were protecting their daughter by having their female organs cut out was disgusting cuz in the end of the day who are they really protecting .. themselves from having a bastard child to take care of if so happens that she's raped. What happens when she still gets raped after the operation shes still going to be mentally scared and ruined as all rape victims are after they've be raped. And it wont matter for her whether there was child a child after-words or not because she would still be raped. In the end they only ones they protected was themselves not only did they leave their daughter more susceptible to rape but took away from her a future.. honestly i have no words for them besides pigs.
In a perfect world... the rest of the world besides Israel will look upon all the great things Israel has done for this world, and not the stupid insignificant crap that the world likes to focus one ... im holding myself back from calling them all raving anti-Semites with a blood libel for Jewish blood... but hey what comes to mind right.
I wish the world would one day let a a big news casting on CNN or front page in the New York times ...Hey the Israelis are helping in Haiti ...ALOT !!!
I LOVED THIS ARTICLE THAT BELOW from yediot ahronot because it shows without telling (as wise Avraham once taught us ) that no matter how many times were being called Fascist's... and nazi's (never could understand that one ... jews... nazis... ) zionist pigs etc... in the end of the day this is what we do because we dont need to prove anything to anyone... were Jewish and this is the behaviour of beautiful Jewish souls to come in and lend every possible help they have. ...
At this point i could totally get into how he lend every possible hand (like taking to israeli hospital , giving the best healthcare... etc.. ) to the Israeli Arabs and the Arabs of Gaza ( Hey Mashaal ....didnt the UN just give you guys some big aid package for health and welfare inside Gaza... what ? oh sorry it went to installing rockets in the hospital.. ah sorry yeah better use of the aid good job buddy ) ..... ....
But i wont be going into that point because the point here is the beauty of soul. The Israelis came to Haiti after all the natural disasters.. were the first on the spot and came with medical attention and ready to help. And now that Haiti is out of the media glare and most people have forgotten about it ... Israel is still helping.. still airlifting people into Israel for medical treatment.... thats a beautiful thing thats Jewish.
When i was in Israel the Cellcom did the cutest tohnit by recording the first love stories of young adults and teens across the country. it was really cute in fact i love almost the tohniyot Cell com does ill be posting them
heres a parody of this first love story program! funny funny
Those were the exact words i heard from one of my beloved cousins ( a former citizen of Israel) when i said to him Im thinking of making Aaliyah. ... interesting reaction right?
Not so much!
In fact he's completely not alone in the Israeli group in the NYC who say that the US is a g-d send and thank g-d they are all here (but secretly we see them stashing bamba, milky 3, and prigat and counting down the days till they can safely go back see their friends, families, eat their food and hear their language... in the end of the day be in their country... no matter how many times they'll deny it they love and miss Israel and wish they could go back.)
So what did i say in response to this very colorful description of myself ... "Im also going to start about by doing army " .... of course all said with a huge smile and big eyes to match the joy in my heart. The things that came out of his mouth sounded something like 'yalda mefageret' meaning retarded girl...and the biggest disapproving stare Ive ever seen in my life ! But im used to this so i smile along and play with his 2 year old son, this is life these days.
Let me explain. My name is Ilana and if its not understandable yet i want... maybe even need to make aliyah. Unfortunately im stuck now in NYC finishing up a Psychology degree that i started almost two years ago and with a year and a half left i figure what the hell it will give me brownie points in Israel... but aside from that im going crazy. Israel is my home and i want home ..ACHSHAV!!! ... azyallahkadima :)
I grew up in Brooklyn to immigrant parents from the former USSR who after a trip in 89' to Israel ironically refused to move there along with the rest of my extended family. They thought it to desert like ... (coming from Uzbekistan it must have been really hard for them to adjust) . And now twenty years later here is there daughter, fully bred so called "american" (except for the english / slang- im weirdly so not!) wanting more than anything in the world to move to Israel.
I was 16 when i was fully introduced with the little country ... and i can honestly say like a lot of things in Israel for me was love at first sight.
It went something like this :
Ilana : hey, you why are you always on my news!
Israel: im not always on your news, your always watching me .. i think you and me are fate ...motekyallah nu boelayiwe could have something here .....(assuming Israel.. is anars .. :P )
Now i cant say i was never aware of Israel. When 9/11 occurred i was not to far from the city starring out my 6th grade class window, watching with all the students in the class as the towers fell. Cant say i was all to bright and really understood the situation there .. but later when my father took me away from school and showed me the news i remember till this day the first thought in my head was ...."the world will finally understand Israel" . I'de heard random things about the intifada just before... i was smart enough to put 2 + 2.
However the world wasn't as smart as my 11 year old self and it still isnt. But ive grown and my love has grown with it.
When I turend 14 i met the person who held the key to a new life for me. She just moved ( dragged away by parents hoping to give her a "better future" ) from her only known home, her biggest love and comfort in life .. Israel.. and lets just say she wasn't coping to well with it.. (Back then i can honestly say i never fully understood her longing and suffering, but now after having lived there a bit myself i understand every pang of pain and missing). We met in school as most girls do and had our little bits of fun. I taught her Russian, she slowly taught me about Israel... but not as much as she one day would. She got me into Israeli music which besides herself would become my life time companion.
First music ever heard.. ironically .. Peace in the Middle East by Subliminal .. TACT
I remember sitting in the back of our little yeshiva bus ( i went to yeshiva for 6 months thats how i met her and developed a conscious and perhaps even a soul lol ) next to ripped and broken chairs sharing one old cd player from Israel, one old broken piece of head phones (dreaming about iPod!) and connecting over the music. She told me about Jerusalem and the kotel and i still remember the passion in her voice as she banged her fists agaisnt her hands and said "G-d kill me before we ever give up thekotel! "
I was like a little fish, the bait had been thrown in and i was swimming to be hooked. After I left yeshiva i went back to public school but we kept in touch through emails for the year. Then summer came around, and so did the war in Lebanon in 06'. That's when we really started bonding and that's where i fell in love with my little country called Israel.
Everyday we would sit together and watch the news, read articles call family member and she would tell me stories of her home in Nazareth Illit. If 16 year old American girls fell in love with surfer dudes and Eminem (or who ever was around then... 50 cent im guessing ) I fell in love with a country and my love hasn't ended.
Fast forward two years later I'm 18 now graduating highschool and fully crazy about Israel. My dad hands me the surprise of my life and tell me ... I ...me ... gets to go with him on a business trip to Israel.. my Israel.
I was speechless and anxious, i couldn't wait for the summer to end so i could feel the land under my feet breathe the air ( and every Zionist cliche ensues here :) )
To begin a whole tale about everything and anything about my first time in Israel is to write a book. But a few key things need to be mentioned:
1. coming to Israel the first time i experienced something i had never before.. happiness... pure giddy school girl lovey dovey happiness. i felt the minute i stepped foot into bengurion that i was on the way to meet my lover (technically i was but i didn't know it yet :O )
2. every Zionist can identify with those moments where all your doing is walking around and taking pictures of every flag you see. And since its Israel in august which mean most people haven't taken down their YomHatzmaoutflags down yet so there is an abundance of them. I took a picture of every flag i could find. and i know im not alone in doing this. all my Zionist friends who visit the first time are overcome with this need to take a picture of every flag possible. I think its because we finally see with our eyes after the time we spent dreaming defending publicly virtually for some of us that we have a land .
THE JEWISH PEOPLE HAVE A LAND! AND THE FLAG HAS A STAR OF DAVID ON IT.
Till this day seeing the flag in any form of being in natural background... next to trees, flowers, gardens, in the middle of roads makes my heart goes crazy and my knees week. This is probably one of the best feelings in the world that i have. ( Going through my old photo's i know see that i also had an obssession with taking pictures of traffic signs... i guess seeing the names of all the cities applies to the same concept.
3. I met the future love of my life there without knowing it ... ( but of course... or nu barur motek... dees is izzrael and de izraeli men dey are hot! ) Yes they are :). He was a childhood... infancy.. friend of mine.. we played together back in the old country (Uzbekistan... lol ) but then he left for Israel and me the US and we never spoke again. we heard stories about our childhood love but never really reached out to each other throughout the net ( facebook or etc... ) . But in Israel, the families and friends got together... and well.. what can i say my second love at first sight! you know that thing people blab on about when a significant person enters the room something changes ... I'm not going to be all gooey and say my heart stopped music played doves sang ...but the atmosphere changed and i felt different. Could it be the old story of two souls finding each other... possibly... or maybe two fanatic Zionist souls who were partisans or Etzel fighters in another life reuniting ... who knows that's up for fate to decide ..all i know is there and then i found my new best friend and my love. Who coincidentally is just as crazy about Israel as i am.... which is awesome... I realized a while back i couldn't have a partner that wasn't politically affiliated as I was.... I'm to obsessed to date otherwise....the shoe fit perfectly.
That's when you can officially say i was hooked hooked hooked like a good druggie ... and lets just make a note for now my choice of drugs is expensive... you'd think airlines would give discounts to ..Jews... Zionists... fanatics lol people who just want to be in Israel over and over like me until they can finally move. for now my little drug costs me over $1,000 something dollars just ticket :) but hey its all worth it in the end.
After my little 2 week stint in summer of 08' i started going into withdrawal and needed to go back again! So i did what every college student in the US does... apply for birthright. I was supposed to go January of 09' but Operation Cast Lead started and mommy dearest sheli had her little Jewish nerves in a twist and cried and screamed her way out of getting me to go.. Honestly i can say that it was the most heart wrenching thing i ever had to do and never again will i deny myself in this way ... never again. When i read the newspaper i would cry because i felt like a traitor for not going. I was never scared of going in fact i wanted to go more to show my solidarity and show everything i believe in... but even this Zionist has a heart for something else beside my searching eyes for Jerusalem. I felt bad for my mother... but in the end things... life and fate which i believe in tremendously have there own design
..I truly believe everything that happens in life happens for a reason and that i wasn't meant to go in Jan 09' ... i was meant to go in June 09' ...why .. mainly because thats when childhood love/ best friend / facebook year pen pal and i became boyfriend and i ... in what i can only describe as Galilee Love Story that a movie should be made about. Two young souls reconnecting in the Hills of the Golan ... pretty original don't you think? :P Maybe Ill write about it one day.
June 09' was also when i finally decided that I would build my life in Israel. Before the love story, before i saw my boyfriend ... (Eli so he has a name ) I was on the birthright group, rediscovering my roots, my love, my connections (sometimes my alcohol tolerance ) and most of all myself. Before i was on the trip i can honestly say i was still a kid with no direction in life,. They had been telling us for years already.. you need goals ... and work towards them. But i had none .. yes i did well in school and applied to a good college got in , did really well my first year but honestly to say i didn't know what i wanted. But my trip changed all that.
I remember the few several times where i knew... i knew Israel was where i belonged.
On my first night in Haifa i stayed awake all night with a friend talking... about everything .. about life . And we watched the sun rise. We sat on the small dirty balcony of a cheap hotel birthright had put us in and observed as the morning went on. how everything came to life around us. And as the sun came up it shone on the flag pole that stood across from our balcony. Never in my life have i seen such a beautiful, moving and inspiring sight. As the flag blew back and forth and the sun reflected its orange and yellow colors, i felt the cords in my heart stir ... (somewhere in the back of my mind i stood to attention and hummed the Hatikvah ) ... it was a pure transcending moment that can only be described as one of its own. It was not man made or brought on... or motivated by some false beliefs. It came from the soul it came from a place of finally understanding what and who i was and what i really loved in the world.
the second time was weeks later on a quiet Shabbat Night lost in the middle of the old city coming back from the 1st meal at a religious home. I was lost ... and happy with it. It was dark and the streets had their own life to them. There was not a sound except that of a city resting . The city breathed on its own. I roamed the dark cobble stone streets in pure serenity, observing the houses and reflecting on everything i had seen and all i had learned . a simple thought surfaced one that would change my life forever. my mind said to me ..." you will raise your children here". It was as if in a way g-d had spoken to me, it felt calm and strong and from within me but not from my mind. I just knew... Something to know about me.. when a decisions like this comes.. prophecy form or not... i go for it and fight till my last breathe ... I'm a fighter and always will be.
that night i spoke to Eli... he asked me how i was liking his country ... i said " I love my country this will be my home"
I had finally found a home. Honestly I can say i never felt at home or belonging in the US but now i felt at home my soul was a peace... and as it always is when I'm in my country around my people and my language.
fast forward half a year later.... a crazy half a year later of studying and working full time to make enough money to spend 8 months in Israel. I don't think Ive even been that tired in my life... but like i said ...I'm a fighter.
10pm in the night ... delayed in Cyprus for 2 hours because somehow the one day I decided to fly in it was raining in Tel Aviv so bad that the plane coundn't land.... seriously g-d ... it was the most funniest thing i ever saw. Suffering through half a year of torture both Israel and Eli on the other side of the world from me .... working like a beast... g-d made me wait two extra hours before sweet salvation finally came. and in a way I loved him more for it.
It was all worth it i stepped of the plane and into the joint arms of all my loves and was swept away to happiness and bliss for the next 8 months.. living breathing walking eating seeing Israel Israel Israel Israel. Life was ....Mushlam perfect.
But all good things end. I came only to study for spring semester and before fall semester started I had to go back but this time i left with more pain and stronger determination that i would come back and live out my life in Israel . Give my entire self to my country because its all i can see myself doing.
So now I'm in NYC its been a month since Ive been back and that's were your catching up with me. We'll be dealing with the next 3 months before i can go and shoot up a good amount of Israel in January for winter break but for now its us and the big city,
I'm writing this because i know there are many like me out there who have a love and are either scared or put down or don't have the courage to do what they love. This is a safe zone where we can share thoughts, love stories, experiences and plans... help all of us in waiting. It for everyone who loves Israel and just wants to be a part of the community. I look forward to making friends here and especially meeting you all in Israel. Ide love to hear everything you all have to say . don't be shy!!
So to end this first post properly "if Iforgetyou, ...Jerusalem, if Iforgetyou, ...Let my right handforgetwhatit's supposed to do "
